Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Mastermind

Every year or so I like to look over this again, and I'm shocked to see how true it is every damned time. Lime for truth, salmon for lies:

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

typelogic.com

Many people say to "just be yourself," but I'm a firm believer that I am in charge of who "yourself" is. Continued existence is continual change-- so might as well take control over it, right? I refuse to resign the content of my character to a set of generalities written about an entire group of the human process.

The delicious irony is that the INTJ archetype describes my attitude perfectly.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Jacket Juice

So thanks to the one whole US Dollar discount, I decided to take a risk and hit up Jamba Juice's new Five Fruit Frenzy smoothie. At the time of this writing, I am halfway finished with the Original (20 oz) smoothie.

"Five Fruit Frenzy" is an absolutely perfect name for this product. The initial taste is nearly overwhelming-- the loudest note here is "tart", but there is more than enough sweet to smooth the experience over for those that don't want to pucker up after every sip. There is so much going on that it could be a little confusing, and the sip is down the hatch before every element can be thoroughly enjoyed, inviting the user to try to brave the frenzy of flavor once again.

The textures of this smoothie are as varied as the flavors. Presumably by using whole fruit rather than juice, the Jamba engineers behind the FFF preserve more than just the flavor-- including strawberry seeds and sweetness-soaked, smashed bits of banana. Once again, there is plenty going on here, perhaps too much for the less adventurous type.

Personally, my go-to selection at Jamyba is the classic Banana Berry, since I like my smoothies like I like my women: predictable, easy to handle, and with consistent level of resistance. But for those of you that like the taste of flavors that bite back, the Five Fruit Frenzy is just like Fierce Feint Fierce-- absolutely stunning.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Love and Street Fighter

I hate the art of fighting, but I wanna be the king of fighters!
Dan Hibiki
Lots of people ask me why I play as Chun-Li.

I don't like getting too close to someone. I mean, I'm not bad in that situation; it's just so risky. But I hate being distanced also-- those who prefer that situation are frightening to me. I need to be in some vague middle ground to feel comfortable.

My timing and spacing are okay-- reactions are my weakest link. But to maintain my fragile middle range, I have to be able to step forward if they step back, and step back if they step forward. I have to be react faster than normal against aggression, and be able to seize my few opportunities as they come. But too often I'm simply holding onto my charge instead of pressing forward when the time is right.

The unfortunate fact is that I play with a constitution handicap. It doesn't take much before I'm down and out. Many matchups feel unfair. My attitude in reaction to this has become to simply throw myself at people, and either succeed quickly or fail quickly. I'm resigned to the fact that my tools don't necessarily match up to those of others.

This game, like many others, isn't balanced. Some have incredibly great and effective characteristics, while others just get screwed. At one point I felt like I was unstoppable, but those days are behind me now. There's always the promise of a better game-- so then why should I bother learning this one?

It's because of all this that I choose not to play in tournament. When anything real is on the line, I opt out. I'm afraid of what people might think of me when they see me in that situation, or maybe just ashamed of my own ability to talk the talk but not play real footsies. I'll definitely beat up on randoms in casuals out of boredom, but I'll never go for the prize, for fear of how I'll feel when I lose.

I don't hate the player. I don't hate the game. I hate the character. But I'm too proud to counter pick in real life.
Handsome fighters never lose battles.
Vega

Friday, March 19, 2010

He's a (New) Star

Those who actually succeed in life... They just happen to be born with the magic ticket called "talent." If you don't have it, you can either accept or deny that fact until you die. That's your only choice.
Tohru Adachi
I'm really lucky. I've been really lucky. At some point, I figured my residence on Easy Street was reward for my natural talent and hard work, but that has since been wholly proven false. The most important lesson I learned from art school was that I had no real talent-- which was fine, since the other lesson learned was that I had no real passion for it either. And hard work? I've never really known what that was.

I always thought that life would only ever got harder. One year ago I was prepared for working life to be ten times worse than student life, so I prepared furiously, making sacrifices in my own hopes and dreams as well as my relationships with others. Do I regret it? In some cases, definitely. But maybe that's why my life is so easy now.

I tried so hard to mitigate the trials and tribulations of adult life, and I succeeded in almost every way. But was it worth it? Is my reward for making my life boring a very easy and boring life?

Maybe I'm just not lucky enough.
Luck favors the prepared.
Louis Pasteur

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Brand Loyalty

College was a time for new things-- for me, new facial cleansers.

The smells of Neutrogena reminded me of high school in all the wrong ways, OXY annoyed me with its wannabe minimalist branding, and Clean and Clear were two adjectives with which I could not relate.

Then there was Nivea For Men. I couldn't really vouch for "Nivea," but "For Men" was pretty easy to understand. Clearly, it was the one brand available that was actually meant for me.

(aside-- I wholeheartedly believe that it is completely sensible to judge vanity-fueling products by wholly superficial standards.)

I started off with their Energizing Cleanser, which is of course discontinued because it was too awesome. After my great experience with their solutions, I began to try their other lines.

This is how a tragedy unfolds.

Nivea For Men's lip care products are the worst excuses for self-pampering items in all of Duane Reade. The effectiveness, longevity. texture, and even packaging are completely half-assed. There is no excuse.

I'm on that Blistex now, thanks.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Warrior Princess

I don't like iTunes. I don't like how long it takes to boot, the bloated internet connectivity, the limited playback features, its arcane organization / file copying schemes, all of it. But I figured it's the most appropriate way for an internet thug like me to support musicians that I like.

Amazon MP3, though. Here's where it wins:
  • "Preview All" button to go through all the samples of an entire album. When buying music online, this is clutch because it's always a toss up whether or not to buy more than one song for the better deal.
  • DRM-free MP3 files. No brainer. Sucks to be you, Apple!
  • I always have a browser open anyway.

Hooray for Amazon MP3!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy Birthday from Youtube!


50 new subscribers in a day? Just what I've always wanted. How did they know?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Eureka

It's 6:00 AM. Didn't sleep last night. Too much excitement and planning for a business venture of mine. Ran out of notebook space to scribble on, and had to go to the Duane Reade (24 hours!) to buy new notebooks just now. And for the first time ever, the streets of New York smelled refreshing.

Right now, I must be the happiest I've ever been for my entire time in the city.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

No Rest for the Weary


Well, maybe a little rest.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Just for Fun

"Like, some people say they go to parties for fun. But all parties are different, and most parties aren't all that much fun."
Jonathan Blow
The creator of Braid came to our school to give a talk about game design the other day. Not surprisingly, he is far more concerned about the meaning of life than about how "fun" something is. But if doesn't play games for fun, then why does he devote his life to them?

The truth is that in games, this kind of thinking doesn't really come up. For as long as a game is on screen, the player has a temporary meaning of life-- he knows why he's there and what his purpose is. He knows how to gauge his level of ability, and he knows how to improve on it. Life is not necessarily easy, but it is easy to understand.

Speaking of fun, software development is not fun. Why do I want to make games so bad then? I'm not the best programmer, the best artist, or the most revolutionary designer, so what do I have to bring to the table?

Or maybe I'm just subconsciously trying to make my life more like the games I play. Where have a clear goal, clear obstacles with clear solutions, and an immediate reward for doing the right thing.

Oh, and infinite retires in case I get it wrong.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Almost Awesome

Spring break project status: failure. But I bet Mike's looks way worse...

Monday, December 22, 2008

HOHOHOHOHOHOseb



Merry Christmas, everyone!

Ten

I start getting paid for 3d animation on January 12.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

When on a Rocky Path...


...just keep on rockin'.
Fail often to succeed sooner.
Tom Kelley

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Tick Tock

I only have a couple months left in school, and then all of a sudden I won't have a bubble to protect me from the real world. The invincibility of my work here is going to be gone soon, and that idea affects every decision I made nowadays. Two years ago, I wanted to do and learn anything and everything. Nowadays I think long and hard whenever presented with a potential project: is it worth it?

The concept of worth is something I'm so confused about now. A year ago my time was worth nothing-- now I get furious about classes that waste three of my hours per week. My tolerance for being forced into doing anything that will not directly augment the skills I want is as low as it can be. Every requirement shoved on me by the school seems an obstacle, not a helping hand toward my final destination.

And of course I start to think: If I know so damned well what I shouldn't be doing, why is it so hard for me to come up with ideas of what I should be doing? Shouldn't I be using my final year to come up with some great animated film or epic 3D game? Don't I want to bring home some sort of magnum opus to show my parents what I plan to do with my life in a language they understand?

Or should I be doing short exercises, studies that I can complete and learn from in short amounts of time? Should I be experimenting and learning from my mistakes? Should I be producing large volumes of small pieces with great variety, adding to my experience and versatility?

Why do I even ask myself these questions when I'm too tired after school and work to even attempt any such projects?

I've been at the company for about a month and a half now. I've been mostly animating 3D game characters, in addition to creating my own rigs, and being free to code whatever I want whenever I want (as long as a core gameplay animation isn't broken). This is... exactly what I've been dreaming of for the past couple years. Isn't it? If I'm living the dream, then why does it feel like work anyway?

Is it relativity? When I had no idea what it'd be like to work in games, the job was on some fantastical pedestal in the clouds. Does living in the clouds make one long for the stars? I wish I knew what was up there-- I could really use something to look forward to nowadays.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Delusions of Mandeur

Look at how manly Richie got! Just look at him!


Is this even the same man that got banned from his own server for hax0ring? Sigh. Looks like e*ice™jtrich is all grown up.

In any case, it is now clear that I've got to step up my game. Thinking through my daily routine in order to infuse it with more grunting and moving heavy objects set me off on a kind of goal-setting binge. So! What am I going to be up to till I get back home from winter break?
  • Work out 5x /week.
  • Push ups and pull ups every day.
  • Whole fruit 2x /day.
  • Fish 2x /week.
  • Eggs 2x /day.
  • Limit myself to no more than 1 soda /day.
  • Body fat 10%+
  • Body weight 150+
  • Work on film every day - animation AND color OR backgrounds.
  • Maya work every day - art OR scripting.
  • Sleep early.
How hard can it be? In any case, I'll let you know.
7:34:33 PM gogogogogogoseb: yo dawg whas good
7:36:55 PM dragonfire2300: just googlin some girls

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A/S/L?

Just be yourself.
Conventional Wisdom
Everyone who says this says it like it's the easiest thing in the world, but everyone that gets this advice knows it's the hardest. Why? Because no one really knows who they are-- just like no one can understand the smell of his own skin.

When little Timmy's dad tells him to "just be himself" on his first date, he's telling Timmy how to act. Is a person defined, then, by his actions? If Timmy decided to act like his older brother Tommy, changing from nerdy and awkward to cool and confident, does his new persona make him a new person? Could he willingly transform into someone new?

Well, it worked for me. But my easier smile and my better posture only changed how other people saw me. External actions only change the view from the outside in-- what's really important to someone is the internal decisions that makes those actions.
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!
Dracula
So then a person is the culmination of the decisions he has made until that point. People decide who they are. And since life isn't easy, they will need to make more decisions every day, modifying who they are in the process. They are not a product of their environment, but of their own design. Some will use this to their advantage to be proud of who they become.
To exist is to change; to change is to mature; to mature is to create oneself endlessly.
Henri Bergson
What makes a good person or a bad person? The same things that make good decisions and bad decisions: education and motivation. Smart people try to make informed decisions, and well-meaning people try to do the right thing. Sure, they sometimes fail-- but again, people are defined by their decisions, not their actions.

Lots of people don't like themselves. Their friends always try to get them to like themselves the way they are-- but that's treating the symptom, not the disease. People need to love themselves before being able to effectively love others, and before they can love themselves, they need to become someone worth loving.